Open Doors Galore

So, now that I've decided to go back into teaching special ed, of course today (almost 4 weeks after my interview) I get the offer to be a chaplain in residence at a hospital in the L.A. area (CPE residency, for those who know what that is).

I kind of wish I didn't get it, because then I could be 100% positive that it wasn't what God was calling me to do at this point. I mean, I do feel pretty secure that God is all cool with me teaching special ed--but it just would have been nice if this hospital thing was a no-go, so I knew for sure that it wasn't the right thing.

Is it just me, or as we get older does it become less and less clear what the "right" thing to do is in every situation? At least for me, I feel like the older I get and the more experience I have following Jesus, the more I just have to say, "OK God, you know me well enough to know that I am a thick-headed human. But you also know I want to follow you and love your people and be the person you made me to be in this world. So, I'm just going to step out in all sorts of things that seem like they are good and in line with your love for the world, and trust that you are going to be working, and that if something is really the right or wrong decision you will reveal that in a way that even a thick-headed human like me can understand."

I've been moving away from the whole "there is one perfect path for you and you sure as hell better find it" mentality, and instead focusing on God's power and sovereignty and ability to redeem even our most idiotic acts. I am quite sure that our weakness and neediness for God's help in all things does not come as a surprise to God...