7.14.2006

Where's the love?

Sometimes there is hostility out there that makes no sense to me. For example, as I was looking through the jobs and rentals on craigslist, I briefly wandered into the little personal ads section. In some ways this was against my better judgment, because I have looked there before and talked to my friends about it, and we agree that it is mostly just depressing and lonely and sad. But anyway, I was there, and found all these very angry, hateful, and mean-spirited messages written about BBW.

For those not "in the know," the acronym BBW stands for "Big Beautiful Women." It is a term that packs in it both empowerment and subversion, in a culture that says: only thin women are beautiful, and fat women should be ashamed of themselves and see themselves totally repulsive, unattractive, and ugly.

I mean, who really would care about this term BBW, right? Sure, people might say their problem with weight is really about health; but there are plenty of thin people who never exercise and are unhealthy, and no one's giving them a hard time. So let's be honest with ourselves, shall we? And if someone isn't attracted to big women, who really cares, but do you really have to try to write things to make big women feel bad about themselves? As if it isn't easy enough in this country, for all women to feel bad about themselves. Can't you just let people live with different aesthetic preferences than you, and just let it go? What the F is the point of being such a jackass? I just don't get why there is such hostility and a need to belittle big women. Here are some of the posts of the big a-holes on craigslist. (There are a lot more, but this is just a sampling.) Tell me if you have a theory for why people feel the need to write these things. I mean, fine, if you want to say "Hey, I only date big women" then whatever. It's your perogative. But why be mean? I can't for the life of me figure out why there would be such hostility about this...

"Reverse Psychology: I want a big gal. Not just "I've a few pounds to loose(sic)", or size 18+ on a good day, BBW, Jenny Craig's new campaign gal or even circus fat lady large. I want to hear thighs squeaking when you walk. I want to see you leave footprints in dry cement. I want the Earth to slow its rotation when you stand. How about time to break down the wall and use a forklift to cart you over to ICU big! "

"Translation of Women's dating ads: # BBW - Grossly, morbidly obese (Bring Burgers With)"

"BBW: the ultimate oxymoron"

"A thought to ponder; One of those BBW women might take a guy who can only f**k like you do because their choices are somewhat limited."

"I'm athletic, fit and attractive but by no means a gym rat or a granola, so will pass on the BBW thing...Other than that, pretty open minded." (So I guess he's open to drug addicts, serial killers, or gold-diggers, but for heaven's sake, be a THIN serial killer!)

"I'm tired of dating hot chicks. They are never happy and expect the world. I want a really ugly women or a fat one or both. I don't care if you weigh as much as a truck or if your face is so ugly that dogs are afraid of you. I'll be waiting for you're reply."

"I like athletic girls, weight lifting girls, petite girls, tall girls, pudgy girls, albino girls.. I do not however like fat girls."

"If you are BBW be glad if any guy wants to date you. U dont deserve to have any standards. No guy even watns to be seen with you, and if he is you should take him up on the offer since you are so fat and ugly and hez doing you a favor."

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