Question Time!!
So, here's a question that I've discussed with various people over the years, in various permutations. I want to throw out to the xanga community, just to see what kind of diversity of perspective is out there. So if you're reading this, then state your opinion!!! You can be as detailed or non-specific about your answer as you'd like to be.
Question: Say there is a woman (it could be a man, but it works better as a woman) who is 35 years old and unmarried. She has a very large nose, and really big ears that stick out (even when she tries to cover them with her hair, they stick out a lot), but is a really great person and has good friends and a pretty enjoyable life. However, she really does feel a sense of loneliness for romantic companionship, and wants to get married. But because of her freakish face, no guy will marry her (much less date her). Over the years she has grown to accept herself though, and to even see beauty in how she looks, even though it is not what is conventionally accepted as beautiful. But she also has experienced rejection after rejection, with men always stating her nose and ears as their reasons for not wanting to date her. So, what do you think she should do? I will list a few options:
1) Get plastic surgery on her nose and ears, so that she will be able to find a man who will want to date and marry her. Though they may not have wanted to date her looking how she looked before, she understands the world is broken and needs to fit in if she wants to find love.
2) Say "F them all" and stay the way she is, and decide that it's not worth dating a guy who won't accept her for how she is, or who can't see beyond conventional norms. She can hold out hope for a guy who will accept her, but it is probable she will be waiting for someone who never will come.
3) Marry a sleezy guy who knows what a louse he is, and who thinks she's ugly and wants to hold it against her so he can use her for his needs in life.
4) Create your own option.
Question: Say there is a woman (it could be a man, but it works better as a woman) who is 35 years old and unmarried. She has a very large nose, and really big ears that stick out (even when she tries to cover them with her hair, they stick out a lot), but is a really great person and has good friends and a pretty enjoyable life. However, she really does feel a sense of loneliness for romantic companionship, and wants to get married. But because of her freakish face, no guy will marry her (much less date her). Over the years she has grown to accept herself though, and to even see beauty in how she looks, even though it is not what is conventionally accepted as beautiful. But she also has experienced rejection after rejection, with men always stating her nose and ears as their reasons for not wanting to date her. So, what do you think she should do? I will list a few options:
1) Get plastic surgery on her nose and ears, so that she will be able to find a man who will want to date and marry her. Though they may not have wanted to date her looking how she looked before, she understands the world is broken and needs to fit in if she wants to find love.
2) Say "F them all" and stay the way she is, and decide that it's not worth dating a guy who won't accept her for how she is, or who can't see beyond conventional norms. She can hold out hope for a guy who will accept her, but it is probable she will be waiting for someone who never will come.
3) Marry a sleezy guy who knows what a louse he is, and who thinks she's ugly and wants to hold it against her so he can use her for his needs in life.
4) Create your own option.
posted by bethany at 5:55 PM
3 Comments:
She sounds like she's accepted her look and even sees beauty in it (shows growth of character). I think she should "hold out" for the person who will love her for who she is (someone with character) rather than settling for a lower character person (who wants her to change or the guy in option #3). Just being married is not the "end all" for everything but it can be super-awesome, if you find the perfect person (for you, of course). I'd also rather have the freedom of being single over the burden of being weighed down by a loser.
i'd say option #2, but i recognize that its easier to choose that option when we are not the ones directly experiencing the rejection or the loneliness.
I am choosing #4 with an amendment to #2:
I don't think she should resort to any bitterness by saying "F you all". Instead, hopefully this hypothetical big earred big nosed woman has Jesus, and knows that he created beauty in all shapes and sizes. I think that marriage is def. not an "end all" agreeing with Brian. If anything, you also avoid a lifetime of torture by one person. Muwahhahaa! (Wow, are my issues coming out?)
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