10.05.2005

On the Road Reflection

I am kind of depressed, and not really feeling up to writing an entry (tho props to stephaniecapell for getting me turned onto Sade, that is doing me some good right now)...so I'm instead posting this informal reflection thing I had to write for my very weird preaching/Acts class. We had to write some kind of thing about being "on the road" and connect it to Paul's conversion story in Acts 9. So I wrote about my trip down to FL.

Setting: 3 seminary students (Hiram, Ani, and myself) traveling down to Florida this past Friday for the Presbyterian Hispanic Youth Retreat. Our van was owned by a Hispanic Presbyterian pastor, who stopped us on the way because several of us were crammed into Hiram's Corolla, which would have made for a very uncomfortable 10 hours. It was a very generous move, that was much appreciated. We traded cars with him at a gas station. The van last had its oil changed in 2002, the front driver's side window didn't open, and there was no air conditioning. Also in the van were 3 teenagers from Brazil (André, Gustavo, and José) and one young adult from Mexico (Raoul). The other two vans on the road with us held about 25 kids, teens, young adults, and adults who were mostly recent immigrants from South America who spoke little or no English. I listened to the book of Acts on my iPod on the drive down, read by Johnny Cash.

Cast of Players:
Saul....................................Bethany
Ananias.............................Ani
Voice of Jesus..................Many and Varied
Traveling Companions....Hiram, André, Gustavo, Raoul, José

Scene 1: As we got in the vans and headed to Florida, I had a plan in my head for what was going to happen on the way to the conference. I had found the directions on mapquest, and saw that the drive would take 8-9 hours. But it did not.We stopped every hour, and took our time with the stops. The drive ended up taking 12 hours. I also thought that since I was a guest to the conference, I would be able to just sit back, relax, and observe—without having to take too active a role in things. But on the road, somehow I ended up sitting shotgun, and that meant it was my job to keep the driver awake and entertained.
This made me relate to Saul, and to think about how he set out in the morning with a plan. A plan to go kill and arrest followers of Jesus. But then, at every juncture of the journey, his plan got turned upside-down. I realize that his journey was interrupted in a much more dramatic way, but I still wonder if he had any of the same feelings I had during the journey. I wonder if he felt a strange mixture of confusion, frustration, and excitement. I wonder how quick he really was to let go of his initial plans, or whether those three days were the lag-time he needed to let go of his expectations and be ready to adjust to a new plan. He was only human after all. And he had done a lot more than just look on mapquest to get directions to Damascus…his way of life was part of his breathing. (9:1)

Scene 2: The retreat itself was entirely in Spanish. I knew my Spanish wasn’t perfect, but I expected to still be able to follow along pretty well. However, this was not the case. Since I come from Southern California, I am most able to understand people from Mexico, but I also have practice speaking with people from Spain and Bolivia. But this conference was in southern Florida…so all of the leaders and speakers at the conference were Puerto Rican and Cuban. This type of Spanish was almost like another language to me. They speak really quickly, and have a tendency to drop off the ends of their words. This left me effectively deaf, and in need of much assistance to navigate the various activities. My good friend Ani (whose Spanish is near fluent) served as my ears, and was very generous in helping me to understand the things I wasn’t getting.
This part of the journey made me think about how Saul might have felt when he was struck blind. It’s really disconcerting to have one of your senses rendered useless, when you have grown so reliant on it. Especially since he was a powerful man, I wonder how much the powerlessness that came with the immediate loss of his sight made him feel. I hated having to rely on someone else to tell me what was going on, and I felt very vulnerable and incompetent. And I am far from possessing the authority and power of Saul.

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