Great Good Newses

I. The sermon went well. I felt comfortable and relaxed, and also felt like the message got across clearly; also that I could be kind of humorous (but not making jokes, just in a way that's natural for my personality) and casual and preach as myself. So, all's well. Of course, it's hard for me to really trust all those people that come up after you preach to tell you how fabulous you are and what a good preacher and how fabulous your sermon was. I just don't really know whether to trust it, because it seems like people say that to all newish preachers just to be encouraging. So, for all I know maybe the content was really awful and the tone of my voice grated on people's ears. But I felt good about it, for all that's worth.

II. A great healing has occurred for my step-father, and it's looking like he doesn't need open-heart surgery at this point. So, he might get to go home in the next couple of days! It's really wonderful news; especially since he's had 2 open heart surgeries already in his life (he was a premie, and has had heart problems since he was a kid).

III. Related to II....that means I'm not going to be traveling to be with my family (until this weekend), and I get to go to Patty Griffin tomorrow night! Soooooooooo excited. I am prepared for my internal world to be rocked.

IV. There are two topics I'm going to mention here, just so I can remember that I want to blog about them in the future. a) My friend Michelle and I were talking about whether we connect more to people through their happiness or through their sadness. I want to explore this, and see the diversity of viewpoints. b) I have a friend (not the aformentioned Michelle, I love you darling) who in the past few times we've hung out has taken every opportunity possible to scrutinize the moral dimensions of every comment I make (even the totally unserious jokey comments)--and then proceeds to try to "challenge" me and teach me all these lessons so I can have a better way of seeing/feeling/viewing things. His moral arrogance and superiority angers me to no end. So, I just want to explore the role for these kinds of moral challenges within a friendship--and how it can be good, and when it can be very very very bad.

XM, Brightness, Need, and Want

1. I just got XM radio a few days ago. My dad bought it for me in some kind of family deal (since he already has it) and had it shipped up to me. I love it! I do love my iPod, but with that, I always know all the music I'm going to be listening to. But this way, I get to learn new artists and hear new music and be exposed and grow and expand and all of that good stuff. So far I haven't fallen desperately in love with any of the new artists I have heard, but I know that will come soon enough. It is so great!!! And they don't censor any of the bad language, which is nice. I figure, if the artist put it in there, and it's part of the song, I want to hear it! Thank you XM, for letting me hear profanity.

2. My oppressive loneliness (see previous post) has lifted. It's not like anything external really changed, but somehow life has just begun to look bright again, and I feel connected to the people I love and who love me back. It also helps that I had a great weekend hanging out with friends I love and who really know me, and that my feelings for the boy I liked and was painfully obsessing over for the past couple of months have faded away (I knew after just a little while that we were completely incompatible, but I just couldn't let it go, until now. Freedom!). Plus, I got some good exercise in this week. Thank you God for seratonin.

3. I've been working on a sermon this weekend. I'm preaching at a Lenten service at my church this coming Sunday evening. I love love love exegesis, and pouring over a biblical text with markers and highlighters and pencils and making notes and connections and underlining and coming to new revelations through the text about God and life and humanity and myself. There really are few things I love more in the whole world. And the greatest part is that it was this kind of ambiguous text (Luke 4:14-30) that after reading a couple times I was like, what the hell is Jesus talking about here? And that's the best kind--because then I can go in and explore and find and discover and question and realize. It's so so fun. And I feel like I have seen some really cool things in the text, and feel like what that text is saying really matters. And if I'm going to be preaching on it, I guess that's a good place to be. I'm excited!

4. Feel free to send some prayers in the direction of my family. My step-father has been really struggling healthwise lately, and tonight he had a big stroke and was taken by ambulance to the ER. He will likely have open heart surgery (for the 3rd time in his life) this week, and it's risky and I think he's scared (who wouldn't be?). And as an only child, it's a lot of emotional burden on me, which is not shared, so it's kind of rough.

5. In other news...the countdown to Patty Griffin is ON! Next Tuesday night is the concert. Uh oh, I just had a thought. I'm a little anxious that maybe the surgery would be next Tuesday and I'd have to skip the concert. Yes, I know, what a selfish thought...but still, I really hope I don't have to miss the show.

4 Things

1. This has been a pretty great week. My favorite singer (Patty Griffin) came out with a new CD on Tuesday (Children Running Through), and after listening to it for a few days, I'm really starting to enjoy it. At first I was sorely disappointed, but as I've kept listening the songs are growing on me, and I'm starting to feel them more.

2. In fact, based on #1, I finally got myself to go to my church's Gospel Choir practice this week. There's a song on Patty's new CD called "Up to the Mountains (MLK Song)" which is a very inspired by African-American spirituals--and it just called to mind what I love about Black Gospel music. So I put aside all the insecurities that come from jumping into a new group, and the inconvenience of having to drive 30 minutes each way at 8pm on a weeknight, and slapped myself around a little, and kicked my ass over to the choir practice. It was really great. Such a welcoming group of people--just a ragtag group of people from different ages, education levels, economic situations, and races. I've been looking for a kind of "church within a church" since my congregation is on the larger side--and I think I may have found it. I think the people that most resonate with Gospel music (especially people in a church like mine, where it's not the norm of what most of us grew up with) are some really lovely and quirky and interesting folks. These random collections of people really help me see what church and Jesus are about.

3. I find myself kind of sad that Anna Nicole Smith died. I don't really know why, it's not like I'm a huge fan, but I guess I just kind of feel for her since she had a hard life and it ended so soon. And her daughter is now without a mother. I saw her once at my friend's birthday party a few years back, she stopped by with her entourage for a quick drink. She had a strong presence about her. Anyway, may she now have the peace she didn't always have in life.

4. I think it's time for our culture to reclaim the power and beauty in menstruation. We always talk about it as if it's gross or inconvenient or crude--but it's something that virtually all women experience and that symbolizes some of what it means to be a woman. So, women (and sympathizing men), let's be more aware of how we think and talk about menstruation. I'm totally serious.