Just Some Thoughts
Here are a few of the things rolling around in my head.
1) A friend of mine and I were discussing feminism, especially in the context of dating (specifically, of dating Christian men, as feminist Christian women). She mentioned that she often has people say something like this to her: "You're too pretty to be a feminist!" or "But you don't really need to be a feminist, you're attractive." I am not sure I completely get where this sentiment is coming from...but I'm pretty sure that the place it's coming from proves that there is a great great need for feminism. God help us.
2) I am typically pretty cool with people dissing Christianity. I mean, let's be honest, within the church, and the ways we Christians can be such total morons, well...it just does warrant criticalness and frustration pretty often. But I noticed something interesting in myself lately--that I'm cool with Christians dissing Christianity, and I'm also cool with people who were raised in the church but were hurt and disappointed and disillusioned questioning and expressing anger at the church...BUT, lately I've had a couple of people who are not Christians dissing Christianity to me, and I actually found myself becoming quite defensive. I didn't really act defensive, but internally I felt protective and fierce. I think it's something like that principle about how I can talk smack about my family all I want, but if somebody outside the family does...that's trouble. I'm not saying I need to defend or protect Christianity, it's done its thing for 2000 years independent of my protection; but, I just found it interesting that I did feel protective, y'know?
3) Another friend and I were recently talking about how to meet men (I swear, I do talk to my friends about things other than dating and men). And I realized I just hate that whole mentality of always putting yourself out there no matter where you are--and just trying to meet men all the f-ing time. When I get into that mindset, and I'm "on the prowl" everywhere I go, then every time I go somewhere and don't meet a man (which is the vast majority of the time) I feel like a failure. And I don't like feeling like I've failed just because I went grocery shopping, or to the library, or to a coffee shop, or to a party, and didn't meet a man I wanted to go on a date with. I much prefer life when I am not "on the prowl."
1) A friend of mine and I were discussing feminism, especially in the context of dating (specifically, of dating Christian men, as feminist Christian women). She mentioned that she often has people say something like this to her: "You're too pretty to be a feminist!" or "But you don't really need to be a feminist, you're attractive." I am not sure I completely get where this sentiment is coming from...but I'm pretty sure that the place it's coming from proves that there is a great great need for feminism. God help us.
2) I am typically pretty cool with people dissing Christianity. I mean, let's be honest, within the church, and the ways we Christians can be such total morons, well...it just does warrant criticalness and frustration pretty often. But I noticed something interesting in myself lately--that I'm cool with Christians dissing Christianity, and I'm also cool with people who were raised in the church but were hurt and disappointed and disillusioned questioning and expressing anger at the church...BUT, lately I've had a couple of people who are not Christians dissing Christianity to me, and I actually found myself becoming quite defensive. I didn't really act defensive, but internally I felt protective and fierce. I think it's something like that principle about how I can talk smack about my family all I want, but if somebody outside the family does...that's trouble. I'm not saying I need to defend or protect Christianity, it's done its thing for 2000 years independent of my protection; but, I just found it interesting that I did feel protective, y'know?
3) Another friend and I were recently talking about how to meet men (I swear, I do talk to my friends about things other than dating and men). And I realized I just hate that whole mentality of always putting yourself out there no matter where you are--and just trying to meet men all the f-ing time. When I get into that mindset, and I'm "on the prowl" everywhere I go, then every time I go somewhere and don't meet a man (which is the vast majority of the time) I feel like a failure. And I don't like feeling like I've failed just because I went grocery shopping, or to the library, or to a coffee shop, or to a party, and didn't meet a man I wanted to go on a date with. I much prefer life when I am not "on the prowl."
Labels: beauty, Church, dating, feminism, men, Relationships, women
posted by bethany at 10:41 PM
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