Kindred Spirits
OK, so I want to find out if I am crazy, or whether this is a normal thing that everyone does. Alright alright, so I concede that I'm crazy--but now I just want to see if I'm crazy in this particular area. I agree that this isn't necessarily a good thing, but what I'm wondering about is how common it is.
I feel like I am constantly on the lookout for people who are kindred spirits to me. Not that I don't love and enjoy relationships with people who are very different from me (my closest friends are almost all significantly different from me--to be truthful, I only have ever met a few kindred spirits in my life), but I also really long for relationships with people who are similar to me, not in every way, but y'know, just people who have that "kindred spirit" sort of vibe. And when I meet someone who I think might be a kindred spirit, I get really really amped up about it, and get way too attached too fast. And it's not just romantic potentials--it's even with other women, or people who are married, it's not important. I just have to sense that we are the same type of person in important ways (having quite similar aesthetic sense, spirituality, humor, intellectual pursuits, emotionalism, sensitivities, etc.). People can be deep, intimate friends without being kindred spirits (I have several). But something special is offered in a relationship w/ a kindred spirit...
What is this search all about? Is it just the result of loneliness? Is it a thing common to most people? Do I spend way too much emotional energy on this quest? (The answer to that last question is most likely, Yes.) Does anyone else have this deep longing to find kindred spirits? (Maybe this is an INFJ/INFP thing...in that case, I'm exposed!)
I feel like I am constantly on the lookout for people who are kindred spirits to me. Not that I don't love and enjoy relationships with people who are very different from me (my closest friends are almost all significantly different from me--to be truthful, I only have ever met a few kindred spirits in my life), but I also really long for relationships with people who are similar to me, not in every way, but y'know, just people who have that "kindred spirit" sort of vibe. And when I meet someone who I think might be a kindred spirit, I get really really amped up about it, and get way too attached too fast. And it's not just romantic potentials--it's even with other women, or people who are married, it's not important. I just have to sense that we are the same type of person in important ways (having quite similar aesthetic sense, spirituality, humor, intellectual pursuits, emotionalism, sensitivities, etc.). People can be deep, intimate friends without being kindred spirits (I have several). But something special is offered in a relationship w/ a kindred spirit...
What is this search all about? Is it just the result of loneliness? Is it a thing common to most people? Do I spend way too much emotional energy on this quest? (The answer to that last question is most likely, Yes.) Does anyone else have this deep longing to find kindred spirits? (Maybe this is an INFJ/INFP thing...in that case, I'm exposed!)
posted by bethany at 9:04 PM
3 Comments:
Let's see. I'm an INFP and I immediately start cataloguing (sp!) similarities with other folks. Perhaps this is a similar, but different expression of your 'psychosis' (and by psychosis, I just mean 'thing').
You're an INFP? No wonder I like you.
And thanks for the link to the church...I didn't realize how big it is! Hope you're doing well.
We took the MB in Dent's leadership class. It was remarkable how many INFP and INFJ were in there.
I also discovered that most of my close friends at seminary were also INFPs (like four of them).
I am doing well. Missing the community at Columbia, but loving being in the church.
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