12.01.2005

World AIDS Day

Today is world AIDS day. I HATE AIDS. Even more than I hate cops (which I don't really hate, I'm only pissed about my unfair ticket). So in honor of that, I'll include an experience of mine I included in our seminary's story collection for today.
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I have been very blessed by a friendship with a guy who is HIV positive. Most of that has nothing to do with him having HIV. It has to do with him being a great listener, a very talented writer, a huge advocate on my behalf, his tendency to burst into song for no apparent reason, his willingness to be deeply vulnerable with his joys and struggles, and his talent for making hilarious and insightful comments in the midst of me melodramatically ranting about some person or situation that is totally frustrating me. We've worked together, worshiped together, prayed together, laughed together, gone to get his bloodwork together, and cried together; and I'm very grateful for his friendship.
With all of this, I have also learned some about his pain that comes with being HIV positive. There are of course physical and logistical problems that arise—finding the right medicine, going in for regular checks of his virus level, etc., having negative physical reactions to the medicine, and figuring out how the medicine is going to be paid for. But he seemed to manage these things pretty well—I mean, they didn't seem to be the bulk of the suffering. The thing that seemed the hardest for him was the emotional distance this created in many of his relationships. His parents still don't know he's positive, and it was several years before he even told his best friend. So there are some walls between him and people he really loves; and it's a really hard decision to know whether and how to tell people who are really important to him—because there is a lot to lose.
Especially in dating and romantic relationships, I've seen how hard it is for him when he falls for someone, and then doesn't really know how to proceed. There are all these questions of responsibility to the person, desire for the relationship to grow, and hesitation about whether the person will shun him if he reveals his status. It makes the already infinitely complicated world of dating and relationships infinitely more complicated; it's kind of heartbreaking.
But the bottom line is, he's a beautiful person and a wonderful friend, and yes, he is HIV positive. And for all of who he is, I am extremely grateful that God brought him into my life.

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