Being Liberal

I have recently acquired a friend who identifies as an "extreme leftist." Now, depending on the company I'm in I can also look like an "extreme leftist"...but next to my friend I practically look like a conservative. He's literally (and I do mean literally) a card-carrying socialist. And I love his company, and enjoy talking to him about a lot of different things. Though, he definitely presents just one side of the story most of the time. But he presents it persuasively.

Now, one thing I've noticed over time is that it's typically much more fun to be the liberal one in a group, rather than the more conservative one. Like, at my church (which is self-defined as evangelical, and quite conservative) I think I'd probably be considered off-the-charts liberal, but at my seminary (where the faculty, and much of the students, have a pretty strong liberal bent) I came off as staunchly moderate. It's really fun to be the liberal one. Liberals just come off as cooler, you know? Sometimes a conservative comes off as a prudish schoolmarm...always saying who shouldn't be doing what, and wanting to convince everyone they're doing something immoral, and also that they should be white and American and make a lot of money. (Yes, I realize that's a giant stereotype, but it does often seem to come out that way in interactions and debates...) But liberals seem to be about greater acceptance of people, especially people on the margins of our culture, and just seem to be less judgmental in general (except of conservatives, to which the judgment is often patronizing and self-righteous and venomous...but that's for another post).

But one thing I've noticed in my friend, is how easy it is to get bogged down in a self-designation. It's like, once you've declared yourself a "liberal", you have to follow the liberals on every issue--and it's easy to become kind of lazy in figuring things out for yourself (he's not, it just makes me think about that possibility for people). Not that you aren't educated and articulate and aware of the arguments, but at the same time, because you've based your identity on this label, it's easier not to really consider those options outside of your self-designation. And because it's just more fun to be liberal, I think it's easy for me just to not even want to think about those times I am more conservative on certain issues (which is not necessarily frequent, but I don't think it's never either). I don't want to be lazy in my stance-taking, y'know?

And I got in an argument with this guy I know recently, who was trying to say that I wasn't very liberal. His rationale was that it was because I believe in God (and I think also, because I wouldn't sleep with him, but that's another story). And I found myself fighting to defend my designation as a liberal. And after trying for like 20 minutes to prove how damn liberal I am, I finally just thought--why does it matter whether he gives me this designation? And I realized that sometimes it's easy to get caught up in a label, and that it can prevent growth into new and different ways of thinking and being. I don't want to be about a label, I want to be about loving people.

This was underscored when I watched the movie Children of Men over the weekend (which I highly recommend). I won't give away the plot points, but let's just say, some people with a liberal agenda in the movie get really invested in their ideals, and they are so passionate about pushing their ideals, they forget that what it's really all about is the PEOPLE and not the ideals--the ideals are just there to empower and love and serve the people, especially the poor and people who don't have a voice, not the other way around.

I want to try and live that as much as I can, and if it makes me a liberal, fine, and if not, fine.

How to Pray for Others

Last night at a meeting of people wanting to talk about how to increase and form deeper community at church, we briefly were on the subject of praying for others (like, during a church service, when people are invited to come up to a designated person/people if they need prayer for something) and it raised an issue that I find both very interesting and difficult to fully decide how to handle: the issue of how the moral/spiritual convictions of the person praying impact what is said and how a person is prayed for (and how they should).

Someone related an incident that occurred during one such prayer time, when a person (who was in a committed relationship with another person of the same gender) came up to him asking him to pray that God would give them a baby. Now, the pray-er has strong convictions that romantic same-sex relationships are wrong, and was opposed to them having a baby. So this person prayed for the situation generally, but not for the specific request of them receiving a baby.

Now, regardless of whether the specific situation above would be something difficult for you to pray for, it made me think that there could be times for any of us when we are asked to pray for something that goes against our deep convictions. Maybe for you it's not issues of sexuality so much as issues of money ("Please pray God helps the escrow on our $5 million vacation home to go through.") or issues of race ("Please pray that our country club stays race-specific, it's becoming really uncomfortable there and I really need it to remain a place where I can feel comfortable and safe in my life.") or whatever. The point is, we all have convictions that would make it difficult for us to pray for certain things...and that in itself is just a reality. It's not good or bad, it just is. The question is how to deal with that.

So, in a situation when a stranger is approaching me for prayer, there are a few things I try to keep in mind:

1) It's not easy to come up and ask a stranger for prayer. In that situation the person often feels vulnerable and is really putting themselves out there to ask for help. They are exposed.
2) I have been hurt in these situations before when I have really wanted prayer for something, and the person instead prayed for the situation on their terms (meaning: they did not pray for what I had asked, and redirected what they thought I should really be praying for). I felt like I wasn't heard; and I felt judged, frustrated, and deeply unaccepted. I felt worse than before I went up there.
3) I am not the gatekeeper of prayers. If someone has a certain desire, request, situation they want to bring before God, is it my job to tell them they cannot? Is it not in the very act of communing with God that we are often making space for God to transform our hearts and our desires?
4) One of my favorite quotations, by CS Lewis, goes like this: We must bring before God what is in us, and not what ought to be in us. In other words, be honest, keep it real. God knows what's in your heart anyway--what's the point of keeping stuff back or putting on a show?
5) God cares deeply about the person, no matter how broken they are, or no matter how silly their request may seem to me. And God takes them very very seriously.

Anyway, I have no answer to this issue. Overall I guess I think that honesty is the best policy. Like, instead of saying I will pray for someone about something and then slyly leaving out the exact thing they asked me to pray for, I would be open to dialoguing with them some more about it. Also, I might ask if they want to express their requests to God, and that I would stand with them as they do it. I don't know, I'm still thinking about this. How would you guys deal w/ it if someone (you don't really know well) asked you to pray for something that you felt was totally misguided?